


Vampire Hunter D CROSS Doctor Who: An uninvited guest

by Alice_n_Robin



Category: Doctor Who (2005), Vampire Hunter D
Genre: Because I can, Fun
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-09-29
Updated: 2013-09-30
Packaged: 2017-12-27 23:03:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/984691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alice_n_Robin/pseuds/Alice_n_Robin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What will happen when Vampire Hunter D finds himself in the TARDIS? Read to find out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Surprise

**Author's Note:**

> If you are reading this I hope that you know who Vampire Hunter D is.  
> Warning: No real plot – just conversation that I find amusing!~  
> If you like - I will make tasty plot! YAY~  
> Enjoy~

The TARDIS passed by a mended crack in the universe.  
‘What? What! What?!’  
The TARDIS started to whine as it spiralled out of control. Despite the shaking and sparking of circuitry the man in black who just appeared inside stayed in perfect balance, his face hidden by a wide brimmed hat.  
‘Who the bloody hell are you?’  
The lights dimmed as The TARDIS fell into hibernation.  
The Doctor strode over and thrust his sonic screwdriver in the intruder's face, ‘Who are you and what did you do to my ship?’  
The man raised his head and locked eyes with the Doctor, ‘Are you threatening me with a sonic screwdriver?’  
‘Yes.’  
They held each other’s gaze.  
‘I’m sorry.’  
‘What? You’re sorry? I didn’t expect you to say that.’ The Doctor ran his fingers through his hair, ‘No, wait. Yes. What did you do?’  
‘Does this ship have telepathic abilities?’  
The Doctor cocked his head to the side, ‘How did you know?’  
‘I thought someone was invading my mind.’  
The Doctor pursed his brow, ‘So what, you fought back?’  
‘Yes.’  
‘Against my ship?’  
‘Yes.’  
‘Well undo what ever it was that you did! NOW!’  
D closed his eyes. Not even a second passed before the lights of the TARDIS came back on and the ship purred with life. 

‘The TARDIS was just trying to help you. It gets in your head to help translate different languages. Harmless. Necessary.’  
‘For what?’  
‘Time travel of course.’  
A bit of emotion started to stir on the man’s face, ‘Who are you?’  
‘I’m the Doctor, and you?’  
‘D.’  
‘Really? Just, D?’  
‘Just the Doctor?’  
‘Point. Well, where are you from D?’  
‘Earth.’  
The Doctor beamed, ‘Earh? I love Earth. What century?’  
‘Year Sixteen-thousand and ninety AD.’  
‘Should we take a look then?’

The TARDIS whirred to life and appeared on Earth in the time D specified, give or take a few years.  
D glanced at the monitors before walking out the blue doors. Open plains greeted him. D breathed through his nose before turning on his heel and walking right back inside.  
The Doctor pouted, ‘Aren’t you at least going to say, it’s bigger on the inside?’  
D mumbled under his breath.  
‘Excuse me? Did you just call me bastard?’  
‘Not you,’ D shook his head in disbelief, ‘He actually managed to send me to another universe.’  
‘Who did?’  
D didn’t answer. He paced around the TARDIS controls, ‘Can you take me back?’  
‘To your universe?’  
‘Yes.’  
‘No, afraid not.’  
‘Why?’  
‘Okay! Slightly less with the murderous intent, thank you. I don’t know which parallel universe you’ve come from. If I try to hop from each one just to check, I would create cracks in the universe, which would shatter time itself.’  
‘How do you know that?’  
‘Because I’m a time lord.’  
The Doctor’s attention was drawn to D’s waist, he could’ve sworn he heard something like muffled laughter.  
‘Did you just say something?’  
‘Are there any other time lords who can help me?’  
‘No. I’m the last.’  
D didn’t ask any questions. He didn’t say anything at all.  
‘I’m sorry that I can’t help you. But I could take you anywhere else you like. In this entire universe.’  
‘Anywhere?’  
‘Yup.’  
‘Surprise me.’


	2. Time to refuel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: If you are reading the Vampire Hunter D novels this contains spoilers from novel 11 onwards, not too much though...  
> ENJOY MY MADNESS!

The Doctor stroked the rails of the TARDIS.  
'D, you really did a number on my ship. I need to refuel.’ D stood tall and motionless as ever, ‘You could at least act guilty about it, you know.'  
The man in black gave a wiry smile, ‘Where do you refuel a time machine?’  
‘Questions! I love questions. I like it better when people talk. It means I have someone to talk to.’  
‘Okay.’  
‘Right, well ... '  
After an explanation they arrived.  
‘So this is Cardiff? D asked  
The Doctor walked out the door, ‘Yeah, you coming?’  
‘Are there any Vampires in this time?’  
‘Vampires? I didn’t think that they existed.’  
D nodded and followed the Doctor.  
‘On second thought, you can’t go out dressed like that.’  
D was wearing his trademark wide brimmed hat, utility belt, boots, cloak and a sword on his back. This was standard attire for someone of his profession.  
‘Why?’  
‘It’s a different time. I know! Just say that you’re going to a convention.’  
‘A convention?’  
‘Yeah, it’s kind of like a big fancy dress party. You’ll blend in fine.’  
A man in brown and a man in black wondered through the busy crowds. They split up for a time and met back up outside the TARDIS.

When D returned the Doctor noted that he was carrying a paper bag.  
‘Of all the places you could have explored, you went to a book shop.’  
‘You don’t like shops?’  
‘No! Heavens no. I love a little shop. Everything is better with a little shop. What book did you get?’  
‘Did you know Brahm Stoker?’  
‘I’ve never actually met him. But I know of him.’  
They leaned on the blue box and watched the humans in their busy lives.  
‘So, D. What did you do back on earth?’  
‘I’m a hunter.’  
‘A hunter. A hunter of what exactly?’  
‘Vampires.’  
‘You’re joking? Right?’  
D looked at the Doctor and said nothing.  
‘Is that why you asked about it before? Vampires. Seriously? Vampires are real? I’ve never met one before. Are they nice?’  
D was silent and the Doctor felt a chill run down his spine.  
He cleared his throat, ‘What are they like? Do they really drink human blood? Does silver work? Are you sure they’re not aliens? I’m asking too many questions aren’t I?’  
D sighed, ‘Where do I even start?’  
The Doctor smiled, ‘I’ve got time, so, at the beginning.’  
‘Six thousand years ago there was a war. Nobles against Nobles, Nobles against humanity and Nobles against OSB’s.’  
‘What does that stand for? O.S.B. No! Let me guess. Outlandish… scary… b, b, hmmmmmm, B. What could it be, b! Haha! Is it, b-bats? No, surely not. It’s not, is it?’  
 _‘For heavens sake D, just tell him so he’ll shut up.’_  
D’s lips quirked almost into a smile, but the look was swiftly masked.  
Monotone he replied, ‘Outer Space Beings.’  
‘Of course! Aliens! Then what?’  
‘The Nobility defeated the aliens and they continued to reign for a short time. But despite their superior technology, regenerative abilities and power it was nothing compared to the combined light of-‘  
‘Humanity.’  
D nodded.  
‘Blimey, you couldn’t get rid of them even if you wanted to. They reach ever corner of the universe, that lot.’  
‘They do?’ There was warmth, maybe even hope in D’s voice.  
‘Yeah.’

**Author's Note:**

> I am so sorry Doctor Who fandom.  
> I love Doctor Who, but if I screw up something Doctor-ish let me know. It's my first time writing for him.
> 
> Lot's of stuff for D's abilities and character is taken from the first 16 novels or so... just FYI.


End file.
